








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1846 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1826 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1405 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,049 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darkgreyhound | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Lee McG123 | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | dylshy | 42% | 72 |
| #4 | GreyHAM | 41% | 80 |
| #5 | Señor Loowis | 39% | 74 |





