








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6473 | 45% |
| Smokes | 3471 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3512 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,846 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3070 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lando | 45% | 132 |
| #6 | IdiotBrain | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | XpertLingerer | 41% | 61 |
| #8 | Mystiik♘ | 41% | 32 |
| #9 | hopinthejon | 38% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lando | 566 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | hopinthejon | 209 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | -TheOriginal- | 182 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #4 | XpertLingerer | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mystiik♘ | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Average Haitian Cannibal | +1.45 | 54 | 58 |
| #2 | SLUTTBOY JTtaco Vance | +1.12 | 48 | 43 |
| #3 | Mystiik♘ | +1.11 | 56 | 61 |
| #4 | Lando | +0.93 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | Aldo_Raine | +0.33 | 30 | 49 |





