








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 894 | 32% |
| Smokes | 689 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 656 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 584 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,553 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kastb3rgDK | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | N0BZEN | 65% | 43 |
| #3 | Zcamt | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | CYB0RK | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | W1Ccc☔ | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | N0BZEN | 65% | 43 |
| #3 | Zcamt | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | CYB0RK | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | W1Ccc☔ | 49% | 63 |
| #6 | D1MMER | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N0BZEN | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | W1Ccc☔ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Zcamt | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Kastb3rgDK | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W1Ccc☔ | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Zcamt | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | N0BZEN | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kastb3rgDK | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | D1MMER | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zcamt | +2.70 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | Hede | +2.51 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | W1Ccc☔ | +2.46 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | Kastb3rgDK | +1.80 | 85 | 57 |
| #5 | N0BZEN | -2.40 | 46 | 52 |





