








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 869 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2941 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2912 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1216 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3217 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,187,554 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | PYRO | 47% | 64 |
| #13 | kpwfenins <3 NMZS | 45% | 31 |
| #14 | Deathinteresse | 44% | 84 |
| #15 | mazen :> | 44% | 25 |
| #16 | R0biNbLy4t | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diddily | 39 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Giottoli | 23 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ikbims | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ENJAY | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Deathinteresse | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diddily | 1431 | 0.19 | 38 min |
| #2 | ikbims | 683 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | Giottoli | 679 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | Spinx | 580 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #5 | Deathinteresse | 429 | 0.24 | 13 min |





