








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 528 | 18% |
| Smokes | 879 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 911 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $408,543 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shipoden | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | niceinho | 63% | 51 |
| #3 | Calcioman | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Fxr | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Randa | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KingBoomer | 56% | 39 |
| #8 | Legolasse | 54% | 24 |
| #9 | Cumby | 48% | 21 |
| #10 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | Numberwang! | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingBoomer | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Randa | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | niceinho | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Cumby | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Calcioman | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niceinho | 254 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | Randa | 124 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | KingBoomer | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Numberwang! | 74 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #5 | Legolasse | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fxr | +3.55 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | niceinho | +2.10 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | son of dog | +0.99 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | Cumby | +0.30 | 70 | 48 |
| #5 | KingBoomer | +0.10 | 68 | 64 |





