








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 25% |
| Smokes | 919 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 293 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 646 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,309 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ba1ter | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Shipoden | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Legolasse | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | niceinho | 62% | 47 |
| #5 | son of dog | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Calcioman | 56% | 41 |
| #7 | AdamTheFab | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | KingBoomer | 53% | 40 |
| #9 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 50% | 10 |
| #10 | Cumby | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niceinho | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | KingBoomer | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | son of dog | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Calcioman | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Cumby | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niceinho | 223 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | KingBoomer | 86 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | son of dog | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Calcioman | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Legolasse | 30 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niceinho | +1.90 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | KingBoomer | +1.66 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | son of dog | +0.76 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Shipoden | +0.74 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | Ba1ter | +0.55 | 62 | 62 |





