








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 152 | 16% |
| Smokes | 261 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 294 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 247 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,087 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | KingBoomer | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | Randa | 39% | 18 |
| #12 | Calcioman | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | Legolasse | 25% | 4 |
| #14 | Numberwang! | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niceinho | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | son of dog | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niceinho | 134 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Randa | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | son of dog | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | KingBoomer | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shipoden | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |





