








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1729 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1998 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1165 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1314 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,222,658 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | botshit | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | SerenityHaven | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | BrodyJ | 67% | 104 |
| #4 | fieya | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | Johnny Zyns | 43% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Zyns | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | BrodyJ | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | fieya | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | botshit | 2 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrodyJ | 343 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Johnny Zyns | 242 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | SerenityHaven | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | fieya | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | botshit | 29 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrodyJ | +3.26 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | Brody | +3.02 | 80 | 46 |
| #3 | fieya | +2.37 | 89 | 64 |
| #4 | botshit | -1.30 | 72 | 42 |
| #5 | SerenityHaven | -3.35 | 52 | 62 |





