








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3258 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4417 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4564 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3627 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,429,005 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaxPower | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | lewツ | 57% | 174 |
| #3 | Kyle | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | ▰︎ DRG ▰ | 54% | 95 |
| #5 | ◢◤ Naga | 53% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ◢◤ Naga | 53% | 160 |
| #6 | RCo | 52% | 90 |
| #7 | f. | 50% | 40 |
| #8 | ✪FestiveNigerian✪ | 50% | 42 |
| #9 | DRAEPER;_; | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lewツ | 28 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | ◢◤ Naga | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | RCo | 14 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | ▰︎ DRG ▰ | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | f. | 8 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◢◤ Naga | 708 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | lewツ | 287 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | RCo | 161 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | DRAEPER;_; | 121 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | ▰︎ DRG ▰ | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lewツ | +1.29 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | LayyJ | +1.29 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | ◢◤ Naga | +1.10 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | ▰︎ DRG ▰ | -0.22 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | f. | -0.24 | 76 | 62 |





