








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7188 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5387 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5621 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5133 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,244 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1054 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thades | 50% | 40 |
| #2 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 50% | 286 |
| #3 | [ART] Margareta | 49% | 232 |
| #4 | Hampter | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 50% | 286 |
| #3 | [ART] Margareta | 49% | 232 |
| #4 | Hampter | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 44% | 89 |
| #6 | Jevla Gandalf | 36% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 62 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | [ART] Margareta | 59 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 30 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | Hampter | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Jevla Gandalf | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 1384 | 0.25 | 28 min |
| #2 | [ART] Margareta | 359 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Thades | 177 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 153 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hampter | 110 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ART] Margareta | +1.90 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | Absolutely not reformed turv | +1.65 | 70 | 54 |
| #3 | Jeppee | +0.34 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | Thades | -0.40 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | -1.05 | 75 | 53 |





