








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1107 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1610 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1994 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2182 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,528 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Thades | 44% | 72 |
| #6 | Jeppee | 44% | 77 |
| #7 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 37% | 35 |
| #8 | Jevla Gandalf | 37% | 35 |
| #9 | Viv | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 26 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Jeppee | 21 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | [ART] Margareta | 11 | 0.0243 |
| #4 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 1 | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 7 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thades | 362 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jeppee | 298 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 175 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 164 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Viv | 117 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ART] Margareta | +5.44 | 93 | 51 |
| #2 | Absolutely not reformed turv | +3.52 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | +2.98 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Jeppee | +2.44 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | Thades | +1.42 | 65 | 68 |





