








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 706 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2327 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1338 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2634 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1240 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,801 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordi El Nino Polla | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Chiken | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Sindrikke | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Blåklokkeveien 207 | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | didols | 55% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Granittåsen | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Jordi El Nino Polla | 8 | 0.0178 |
| #3 | didols | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | KÆSP | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Østre Strandvei (Sniper) | 6 | 0.0163 |





