








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 837 | 25% |
| Smokes | 918 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 745 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 829 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,415 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪JAB JABICH | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Noname | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | KrUzItE | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | mitinaax) | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | zyko | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rio | 12 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | mitinaax) | 11 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | ✪JAB JABICH | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | 160CM K.Porzingis | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | mqjors | 2 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mitinaax) | 235 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Rio | 181 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪JAB JABICH | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Noggy4 | 58 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | 160CM K.Porzingis | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zyko | +4.90 | 67 | 68 |
| #2 | Noname | +3.54 | 86 | 49 |
| #3 | ✪JAB JABICH | +3.15 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | Rio | +1.01 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | mitinaax) | +0.67 | 77 | 48 |





