








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9251 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9083 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6752 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3907 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,274,414 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1092 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ⓛωⓛ | 52% | 110 |
| #3 | robcat | 50% | 385 |
| #4 | General Kilt | 48% | 720 |
| #5 | hallo | 48% | 227 |
| #6 | MM FCS 48hr | 46% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Kilt | 1972 | 0.14 | 42 min |
| #2 | hallo | 867 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | robcat | 773 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #4 | ⓛωⓛ | 420 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | MM FCS 48hr | 369 | 0.09 | 8 min |





