








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6154 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6723 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6439 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5767 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,017,086 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ステーキ | 83% | 47 |
| #2 | moooks | 77% | 61 |
| #3 | smxx | 76% | 78 |
| #4 | Gentle Wife Beater | 67% | 127 |
| #5 | Phantomschmerz | 65% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smxx | 20 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | moooks | 17 | 0.0139 |
| #3 | ステーキ | 13 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | Toto | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Gentle Wife Beater | 9 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyS | 992 | 0.30 | 26 min |
| #2 | cavireN- | 622 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Yves | 344 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Toto | 312 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Phantomschmerz | 280 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tohbias | +3.81 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | moooks | +3.31 | 90 | 47 |
| #3 | smxx | +3.17 | 79 | 49 |
| #4 | ステーキ | +2.42 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | Yves | +1.60 | 64 | 68 |





