








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1301 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1690 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1594 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1143 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,992 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | 61% | 66 |
| #2 | lurz | 47% | 59 |
| #3 | Sokrates | 43% | 51 |
| #4 | Hämmchen | 42% | 45 |
| #5 | andreasoderso | 40% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | 61% | 66 |
| #2 | lurz | 47% | 59 |
| #3 | Sokrates | 43% | 51 |
| #4 | Hämmchen | 42% | 45 |
| #5 | andreasoderso | 40% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Sokrates | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | lurz | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | andreasoderso | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Hämmchen | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | 198 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | lurz | 176 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sokrates | 60 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hämmchen | 19 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | andreasoderso | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | +4.19 | 67 | 62 |
| #2 | Zaykor | +2.85 | 52 | 53 |
| #3 | Hämmchen | +1.41 | 63 | 36 |
| #4 | lurz | -1.34 | 51 | 54 |
| #5 | Sokrates | -1.41 | 73 | 43 |





