










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 7% |
| Smokes | 19 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 82 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 44 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,984 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | lurz | 41% | 49 |
| #3 | Zaykor | 40% | 218 |
| #4 | Hämmchen | 32% | 19 |
| #5 | Sokrates | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | lurz | 41% | 49 |
| #3 | Zaykor | 40% | 218 |
| #4 | Hämmchen | 32% | 19 |
| #5 | Sokrates | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | 8 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Zaykor | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | lurz | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Sokrates | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Hämmchen | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaykor | 181 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | lurz | 151 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | binna-- | 129 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sokrates | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hämmchen | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | binna-- | +4.57 | 67 | 57 |
| #2 | Zaykor | +4.06 | 54 | 50 |
| #3 | Hämmchen | +2.66 | 65 | 34 |
| #4 | lurz | -1.37 | 56 | 51 |
| #5 | Sokrates | -1.91 | 67 | 37 |





