








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1405 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1189 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1324 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1479 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,377,373 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonkeyBong | 54% | 63 |
| #2 | tb4b | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Mr Myers | 48% | 62 |
| #4 | flamingthane12 | 44% | 121 |
| #5 | novanasty59 | 41% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XXXDIKTACION | 66 | 0.0355 |
| #2 | Psycron | 56 | 0.0453 |
| #3 | novanasty59 | 52 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | flamingthane12 | 37 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | DonkeyBong | 37 | 0.0307 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | even | 304 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mr Myers | 296 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | novanasty59 | 189 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | XXXDIKTACION | 141 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | DonkeyBong | 108 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Myers | +8.77 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | even | +3.78 | 73 | 48 |
| #3 | Psycron | +1.95 | 62 | 42 |
| #4 | novanasty59 | +1.84 | 68 | 37 |
| #5 | DonkeyBong | +0.95 | 53 | 34 |





