








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 467 | 23% |
| Smokes | 416 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 658 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,350 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldin | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | pmec | 42% | 71 |
| #3 | ♿🚹🆓Hasse 🆓🚹♿ [Fr | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | ó €¡ó €¡ | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | Fenrin the Sloth | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldin | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | pmec | 42% | 71 |
| #3 | ♿🚹🆓Hasse 🆓🚹♿ [Fr | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | ó €¡ó €¡ | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | Fenrin the Sloth | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldin | 12 | 0.0266 |
| #2 | pmec | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ó €¡ó €¡ | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ♿🚹🆓Hasse 🆓🚹♿ [Fr | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pmec | 445 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #2 | Eldin | 85 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | ó €¡ó €¡ | 53 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♿🚹🆓Hasse 🆓🚹♿ [Fr | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fenrin the Sloth | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pmec | +5.00 | 88 | 76 |
| #2 | Eldin | +4.21 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | ♿🚹🆓Hasse 🆓🚹♿ [Fr | -0.16 | 79 | 45 |
| #4 | ó €¡ó €¡ | -1.56 | 63 | 72 |
| #5 | DeWindWaker | -3.87 | 58 | 41 |





