








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 117 | 9% |
| Smokes | 371 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 410 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 361 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,973 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SilentBang | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | _МОЗГОЛОМ89_ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Enrique | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | fakechi | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | Ken Carcium | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | _МОЗГОЛОМ89_ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Enrique | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | fakechi | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | Ken Carcium | 44% | 41 |
| #6 | malowilson | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | malowilson | 9 | 0.0264 |
| #2 | fakechi | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | _МОЗГОЛОМ89_ | 4 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Ken Carcium | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakechi | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | _МОЗГОЛОМ89_ | 78 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #3 | Enrique | 58 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | SilentBang | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ken Carcium | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SilentBang | +4.69 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Springuzz | +2.16 | 85 | 13 |
| #3 | Enrique | +1.06 | 61 | 76 |
| #4 | _МОЗГОЛОМ89_ | +0.44 | 66 | 6 |
| #5 | fakechi | -1.43 | 18 | 34 |





