








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 262 | 25% |
| Smokes | 279 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,556 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ofvmaMba | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | VEJAY-_- | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Disturbing the peace | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | phyzic | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ofvmaMba | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | xeNium | 21 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | EddezeNNN | 18 | 0.46 | 1 min |
| #4 | Disturbing the peace | 12 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | VEJAY-_- | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EddezeNNN | +8.47 | 74 | 83 |
| #2 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | +6.63 | 86 | 75 |
| #3 | phyzic | +4.34 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | ofvmaMba | +3.38 | 82 | 81 |
| #5 | Disturbing the peace | +1.06 | 84 | 60 |





