








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 387 | 37% |
| Smokes | 250 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 247 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 162 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $36,238 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detinate | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | VEJAY-_- | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | cloverf1eld | 100% | 3 |
| #5 | n0brain | 88% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0brain | 36 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | arNd_ | 24 | 0.60 | 1 min |
| #3 | RuflU | 16 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | xeNium | 15 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | stebbiC0C0 | 14 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elis.tor | +8.30 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | +6.63 | 86 | 75 |
| #3 | Disturbing the peace | +4.25 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | arNd_ | +3.27 | 90 | 90 |
| #5 | DeV1Ce | +1.50 | 95 | 53 |





