








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 22% |
| Smokes | 938 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 659 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 517 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,525 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eatmybueno | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | LĀCIS! | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Slavic Johnson | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | doomsday | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | kr1x- | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | fiee | 37% | 30 |
| #9 | DEST | 35% | 23 |
| #10 | NoBeast | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | PILNĪGS VAKARS` | 13% | 8 |
| #12 | ☂ w0lt | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kr1x- | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | rol3-x | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Erregrets | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kr1x- | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | DEST | 57 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | fiee | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | rol3-x | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Slavic Johnson | 24 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kr1x- | +1.58 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | rol3-x | +0.45 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | Erregrets | +0.31 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | LĀCIS! | +0.06 | 83 | 71 |
| #5 | brk_ | -0.41 | 73 | 74 |





