








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 716 | 34% |
| Smokes | 572 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 507 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,649 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dust II Enjoyer | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | BUZA | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Avi | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | Rotdhizon | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | moeshjad | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | mr. sex man | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | Gecko | 42% | 38 |
| #9 | Jayjoe | 41% | 61 |
| #10 | Uncle Toast ≽^•⩊•^≼ | 38% | 26 |
| #11 | Hodell | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayjoe | 13 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Uncle Toast ≽^•⩊•^≼ | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Avi | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Dust II Enjoyer | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avi | 190 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | BUZA | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dust II Enjoyer | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | mr. sex man | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gecko | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | +3.97 | 76 | 41 |
| #2 | Avi | +2.15 | 52 | 60 |
| #3 | BUZA | +0.43 | 56 | 39 |
| #4 | Rotdhizon | -0.03 | 58 | 34 |
| #5 | Jayjoe | -0.13 | 55 | 13 |





