








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 672 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1104 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 462 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,900 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avi | 59% | 56 |
| #2 | Rotdhizon | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Shade | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | BUZA | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | Jayjoe | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shade | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | BUZA | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | Jayjoe | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Gecko | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUZA | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Jayjoe | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Avi | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Shade | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Gecko | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avi | 242 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | BUZA | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Shade | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 40 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gecko | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | +3.40 | 77 | 46 |
| #2 | Avi | +2.53 | 52 | 68 |
| #3 | BUZA | +1.58 | 58 | 37 |
| #4 | Jayjoe | +0.25 | 52 | 12 |
| #5 | Rotdhizon | -0.46 | 44 | 32 |





