








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 687 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1091 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 100 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,320 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hodell | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Shade | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | mr. sex man | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Avi | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Jayjoe | 50% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jayjoe | 50% | 86 |
| #6 | Dust II Enjoyer | 48% | 75 |
| #7 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 43% | 49 |
| #8 | Rotdhizon | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Gecko | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayjoe | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 7 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Dust II Enjoyer | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Avi | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Gecko | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avi | 269 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dust II Enjoyer | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | W̶e̴̊̑ḃ̷͒e̷͉͊͝r̸̐ | 70 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Gecko | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shade | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | +3.19 | 80 | 44 |
| #2 | Avi | +2.62 | 46 | 65 |
| #3 | BUZA | +1.66 | 60 | 42 |
| #4 | Jayjoe | -0.47 | 54 | 12 |
| #5 | Rotdhizon | -0.90 | 44 | 25 |





