








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2182 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1741 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 377 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1247 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,542 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | yATOS | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | wrong | 56% | 61 |
| #4 | Okita | 46% | 81 |
| #5 | Rinku | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrong | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Nurmagomedov | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | JoeyMatts | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Rinku | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Okita | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrong | 278 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | JoeyMatts | 226 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Okita | 206 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nurmagomedov | 194 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rinku | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | +4.64 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | Nurmagomedov | +3.15 | 92 | 37 |
| #3 | wrong | +2.67 | 89 | 53 |
| #4 | yATOS | +2.48 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | Yami | +0.45 | 86 | 67 |





