








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1505 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1433 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 191 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 1168 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,412 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axessor | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | MuscularMussel44 | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | yATOS | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | Capital | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | wrong | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrong | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Capital | 8 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | MuscularMussel44 | 7 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | Yami | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Nurmagomedov | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yami | 486 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | yATOS | 311 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | wrong | 236 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Okita | 223 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Capital | 184 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | +4.17 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | Nurmagomedov | +3.70 | 93 | 43 |
| #3 | Axessor | +2.83 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | wrong | +2.72 | 88 | 56 |
| #5 | Capital | +2.62 | 82 | 73 |





