








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 365 | 23% |
| Smokes | 454 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 367 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 425 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,891 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kju | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Pedi | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | ⊠Nasty | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | ⊠Boepf | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | freqz | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ⊠Boepf | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | freqz | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | dehy | 31% | 13 |
| #7 | ⊠Kobe ðĪŠðĪ | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | Mr.Anderson | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⊠Boepf | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ⊠Nasty | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | kju | 4 | 0.0331 |
| #4 | Pedi | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | dehy | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⊠Boepf | 350 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pedi | 93 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | ⊠Nasty | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | dehy | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | kju | 30 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kju | +5.93 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | ⊠Boepf | +2.46 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | freqz | +2.34 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | dehy | +1.00 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | ⊠Nasty | +0.29 | 74 | 62 |





