








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5003 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4772 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4021 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4803 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,506,859 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1027 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Anderson | 70% | 56 |
| #2 | Felix_- | 64% | 58 |
| #3 | dehy | 63% | 224 |
| #4 | Pedi | 62% | 92 |
| #5 | kju | 62% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✪ Boepf | 59% | 271 |
| #9 | Nexy | 59% | 34 |
| #10 | Morre | 59% | 80 |
| #11 | TaktikTitan | 53% | 32 |
| #12 | 𝚔𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚏𝚒 | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kju | 59 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | freqz | 33 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | dehy | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ✪ Boepf | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | TaktikTitan | 12 | 0.0234 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Boepf | 1407 | 0.28 | 38 min |
| #2 | kju | 947 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | freqz | 728 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #4 | dehy | 396 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | Pedi | 375 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kju | +2.79 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | TaktikTitan | +2.68 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪ Boepf | +1.84 | 86 | 72 |
| #4 | Felix_- | +1.66 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ Nasty | +1.31 | 79 | 57 |





