








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6289 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4450 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3766 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3052 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,769 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Anderson | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | kju | 71% | 51 |
| #3 | gunther | 68% | 37 |
| #4 | dehy | 61% | 117 |
| #5 | freqz | 61% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ✪ Nasty | 59% | 271 |
| #8 | Pedi | 54% | 214 |
| #9 | EsWirdGefälligstGerotzt! GmbH | 51% | 57 |
| #10 | 𝚔𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚏𝚒 | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | hith0t | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Nasty | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Pedi | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | kju | 13 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | freqz | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | dehy | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedi | 708 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | ✪ Nasty | 652 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | freqz | 318 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | dehy | 225 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Nexy | 206 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Boepf | +2.27 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | kju | +2.19 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | ✪ Nasty | +1.21 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | freqz | +1.01 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | dehy | +0.40 | 79 | 54 |





