








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3172 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4442 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3415 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3267 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,068,441 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaidS | 32 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | Horny_naqvi | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Hypnos | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | aeNti | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Pr@y | 15 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horny_naqvi | 801 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #2 | aeNti | 496 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hypnos | 316 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | S3Q3L | 213 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #5 | zaidS | 212 | 0.16 | 4 min |





