








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 449 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1668 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3076 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2613 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3087 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,916,436 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brat symptom | 54% | 79 |
| #2 | CrrysisHD | 50% | 135 |
| #3 | Chuck | 50% | 240 |
| #4 | Inoculum | 50% | 113 |
| #5 | jvhze | 46% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chuck | 50% | 240 |
| #4 | Inoculum | 50% | 113 |
| #5 | jvhze | 46% | 136 |
| #6 | CouchPotato | 42% | 55 |
| #7 | Ɓljnd ✨ | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jvhze | 22 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Inoculum | 19 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Chuck | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | CouchPotato | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | CrrysisHD | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jvhze | 390 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Chuck | 320 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ɓljnd ✨ | 301 | 0.33 | 9 min |
| #4 | brat symptom | 246 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | CouchPotato | 164 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brat symptom | +1.91 | 57 | 59 |
| #2 | Inoculum | +1.53 | 71 | 28 |
| #3 | jvhze | +1.48 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | SagerHD | +0.60 | 56 | 45 |
| #5 | Chuck | -0.69 | 66 | 52 |





