








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1782 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1886 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1137 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1706 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $732,167 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LTC | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | Xzen | 83% | 53 |
| #3 | JDubs | 83% | 23 |
| #4 | Magic | 71% | 34 |
| #5 | kmzbn | 69% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Magic | 71% | 34 |
| #5 | kmzbn | 69% | 16 |
| #6 | Feb- | 61% | 31 |
| #7 | JD | 57% | 28 |
| #8 | CROOK | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xzen | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | JDubs | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xzen | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Magic | 120 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | JD | 113 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Feb- | 104 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | CROOK | 75 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abis | +3.03 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | Xzen | +2.99 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | JDubs | +2.51 | 92 | 62 |
| #4 | Magic | +2.28 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | kmzbn | +1.28 | 90 | 66 |





