








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5181 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3111 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3876 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5005 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,639 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abis | 83% | 53 |
| #2 | Sopu | 78% | 37 |
| #3 | LTC | 69% | 219 |
| #4 | JDubs | 68% | 206 |
| #5 | fat | 67% | 172 |





