








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 439 | 16% |
| Smokes | 629 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 958 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 669 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,290 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scaredness | 45% | 85 |
| #2 | faithybaithy | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | Black Jesus | 42% | 71 |
| #4 | Faze Gåsen | 39% | 90 |
| #5 | RCC_River | 38% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze Gåsen | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Black Jesus | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Scaredness | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | RCC_River | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | faithybaithy | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scaredness | 227 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Black Jesus | 134 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | RCC_River | 62 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Faze Gåsen | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | faithybaithy | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scaredness | +3.78 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | faithybaithy | -0.28 | 75 | 8 |
| #3 | RCC_River | -0.31 | 53 | 31 |
| #4 | Axuiz | -0.49 | 23 | 43 |
| #5 | Python | -1.33 | 42 | 45 |





