










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 104 | 11% |
| Smokes | 172 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 229 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,056 of utility $385 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Manavgk | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | nonthebon | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | 毒Toxic | 29% | 24 |
| #11 | ANATOLY CYKA | 0% | 3 |
| #12 | artie | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bingding | 6 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | ANATOLY MKII (Im better) | 4 | 0.0284 |
| #3 | Latvija100 | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | 毒Toxic | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 毒Toxic | 104 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | bingding | 67 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #3 | Latvija100 | 35 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | ANATOLY MKII (Im better) | 31 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | artie | 20 | 0.18 | 0 min |





