








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1226 | 31% |
| Smokes | 960 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 798 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,203 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noot | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | chr0vaX | 63% | 109 |
| #3 | dArke_gg TTV | 62% | 66 |
| #4 | >L | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noot | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | chr0vaX | 63% | 109 |
| #3 | dArke_gg TTV | 62% | 66 |
| #4 | >L | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noot | 7 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | dArke_gg TTV | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | chr0vaX | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | >L | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr0vaX | 263 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | dArke_gg TTV | 251 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | noot | 74 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | >L | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr0vaX | +3.38 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | im swede | +2.19 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | dArke_gg TTV | +0.46 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | >L | -0.73 | 57 | 42 |
| #5 | noot | -3.62 | 56 | 55 |





