








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 765 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1328 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1250 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1437 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,854 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banzayer | 493 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | ♧Viber_noot_noot♧ | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nigeriaanse Tuba | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ Lil Bear | 99 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Appelsappie | 98 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banzayer | +2.37 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | ♧Viber_noot_noot♧ | +2.21 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | Appelsappie | +1.92 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | Nigeriaanse Tuba | +1.89 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | ✪ Lil Bear | +1.06 | 78 | 68 |





