








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1303 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1262 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1237 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 954 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,635 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | lil floppa | 50% | 76 |
| #7 | Banzayer | 48% | 33 |
| #8 | bram in de buurt | 48% | 60 |
| #9 | ♧Viber_noot_noot♧ | 42% | 57 |
| #10 | Moffel | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banzayer | 132 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | ♧Viber_noot_noot♧ | 126 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Appelsappie | 113 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shaquille O'Niels | 106 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | lil floppa | 77 | 0.05 | 1 min |





