










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 395 | 17% |
| Smokes | 581 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 807 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,336 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | farmpiggie | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | birdo | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | 45° of tilt | 76% | 21 |
| #4 | Yogic Mantra Energized Cow Dung | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | hungben | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | birdo | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | 45° of tilt | 76% | 21 |
| #4 | Yogic Mantra Energized Cow Dung | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | hungben | 70% | 10 |
| #6 | Amazinga the Great | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hungben | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Yogic Mantra Energized Cow Dung | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Amazinga the Great | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | farmpiggie | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amazinga the Great | 86 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | 45° of tilt | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | birdo | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | farmpiggie | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | hungben | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yogic Mantra Energized Cow Dung | +5.29 | 75 | 32 |
| #2 | 45° of tilt | +4.45 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Amazinga the Great | +2.51 | 74 | 74 |
| #4 | birdo | +0.05 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | AFlyingKiwi | -1.07 | 68 | 53 |





