








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 175 | 2% |
| Smokes | 2540 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2481 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2471 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,556 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFlyingKiwi | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | farmpiggie | 65% | 52 |
| #3 | hungben | 61% | 160 |
| #4 | 45° of tilt | 60% | 329 |
| #5 | Amazinga the Great | 58% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | hungben | 61% | 160 |
| #4 | 45° of tilt | 60% | 329 |
| #5 | Amazinga the Great | 58% | 267 |
| #6 | birdo | 57% | 218 |
| #7 | kinglionleo | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | birdo | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | hungben | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Amazinga the Great | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | kinglionleo | 10 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | 45° of tilt | 9 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amazinga the Great | 1370 | 0.25 | 39 min |
| #2 | birdo | 630 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | 45° of tilt | 510 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | kinglionleo | 155 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | hungben | 100 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 45° of tilt | +3.73 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | kinglionleo | +1.93 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | Yogic Mantra Energized Cow Dung | +1.32 | 63 | 27 |
| #4 | Amazinga the Great | +0.76 | 69 | 76 |
| #5 | farmpiggie | -0.98 | 75 | 49 |





