








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 676 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6604 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7204 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7740 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6025 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,301,559 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thobi | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | SkipZ | 11 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | aNtii #! 针对 | 10 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | J Ο Σ X | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Shadow-Death (Sebi) | 4 | 0.0034 |





