










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 59 | 12% |
| Smokes | 146 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 173 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 115 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,323 of utility $355 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoyoers | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | spud | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | ZorF | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | railgun | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoyoers | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | spud | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | ZorF | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | railgun | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | railgun | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | spud | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | ZorF | 1 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | yoyoers | 27 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #3 | railgun | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | ZorF | 12 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | +9.23 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | railgun | +4.96 | 70 | 36 |
| #3 | ZorF | +4.76 | 92 | 75 |
| #4 | yoyoers | +0.03 | 61 | 51 |
| #5 | Birdman | -0.96 | 69 | 32 |





