










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 191 | 15% |
| Smokes | 448 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 426 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 213 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,052 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | FatChris | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Creamy Footlong | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | EazyCS | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | FatChris | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Creamy Footlong | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | EazyCS | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EazyCS | 11 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Creamy Footlong | 1 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EazyCS | 174 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | FatChris | 89 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #3 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | 52 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | Creamy Footlong | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creamy Footlong | +2.68 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | FatChris | +1.17 | 61 | 73 |
| #3 | EazyCS | +0.93 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | +0.74 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Don't look! | -0.94 | 68 | 34 |





