








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1574 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1365 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1690 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1620 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $896,399 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | EazyCS | 41% | 29 |
| #3 | FatChris | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | EazyCS | 41% | 29 |
| #3 | FatChris | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EazyCS | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | FatChris | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | 238 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | FatChris | 74 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | EazyCS | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creamy Footlong | +2.38 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | 匚卄卂丂乇 | +0.75 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | FatChris | +0.28 | 62 | 74 |
| #4 | EazyCS | -0.46 | 83 | 56 |





