








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2140 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1016 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2082 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2380 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,996 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unlocko | 63% | 112 |
| #2 | MikeyBear | 59% | 148 |
| #3 | grymghost | 57% | 117 |
| #4 | Danticular | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | nickmazz321 | 51% | 322 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MikeyBear | 59% | 148 |
| #3 | grymghost | 57% | 117 |
| #4 | Danticular | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | nickmazz321 | 51% | 322 |
| #6 | CiaoChow | 51% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickmazz321 | 42 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | CiaoChow | 30 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | grymghost | 29 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Danticular | 20 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | MikeyBear | 11 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickmazz321 | 620 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | CiaoChow | 183 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Danticular | 143 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | MikeyBear | 122 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | grymghost | 117 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickmazz321 | +1.85 | 22 | 40 |
| #2 | grymghost | +1.23 | 40 | 28 |
| #3 | ItalianPantherz | +0.95 | 46 | 44 |
| #4 | CiaoChow | +0.71 | 40 | 24 |
| #5 | MikeyBear | -0.10 | 42 | 24 |





