








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 737 | 33% |
| Smokes | 870 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 185 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,460 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unlocko | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | MikeyBear | 57% | 136 |
| #3 | grymghost | 53% | 96 |
| #4 | Danticular | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | ItalianPantherz | 51% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MikeyBear | 57% | 136 |
| #3 | grymghost | 53% | 96 |
| #4 | Danticular | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | ItalianPantherz | 51% | 192 |
| #6 | nickmazz321 | 48% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItalianPantherz | 32 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | nickmazz321 | 31 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | grymghost | 20 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Danticular | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | MikeyBear | 11 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickmazz321 | 379 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | ItalianPantherz | 267 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Danticular | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | MikeyBear | 90 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | grymghost | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickmazz321 | +1.70 | 21 | 36 |
| #2 | ItalianPantherz | +0.86 | 43 | 40 |
| #3 | CiaoChow | +0.62 | 41 | 24 |
| #4 | unlocko | +0.51 | 42 | 31 |
| #5 | grymghost | +0.43 | 36 | 22 |





