








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 864 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1027 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 910 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 956 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,448,152 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unlocko | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | MikeyBear | 58% | 114 |
| #3 | grymghost | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | ItalianPantherz | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | CiaoChow | 51% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MikeyBear | 58% | 114 |
| #3 | grymghost | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | ItalianPantherz | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | CiaoChow | 51% | 115 |
| #6 | nickmazz321 | 51% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItalianPantherz | 34 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | CiaoChow | 28 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | nickmazz321 | 19 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | grymghost | 11 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | MikeyBear | 9 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickmazz321 | 393 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | ItalianPantherz | 257 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | CiaoChow | 119 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | MikeyBear | 89 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | unlocko | 58 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickmazz321 | +2.51 | 17 | 37 |
| #2 | grymghost | +1.72 | 41 | 30 |
| #3 | CiaoChow | +1.68 | 39 | 20 |
| #4 | ItalianPantherz | +1.63 | 48 | 44 |
| #5 | MikeyBear | -0.09 | 40 | 26 |





