








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 678 | 17% |
| Smokes | 861 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1124 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1280 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,507 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 51% | 134 |
| #2 | Nep | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Joao | 49% | 100 |
| #4 | Roach | 49% | 94 |
| #5 | Never Lucky | 48% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Never Lucky | 48% | 127 |
| #6 | Rotativos | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | gil kinda drip | 39% | 38 |
| #8 | roberto andrade | 39% | 36 |
| #9 | Bob | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 25 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Roach | 18 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Bob | 8 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Rotativos | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Never Lucky | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 403 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Joao | 346 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Never Lucky | 270 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Roach | 159 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bob | 115 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | +2.94 | 70 | 45 |
| #2 | Joao | +2.09 | 54 | 52 |
| #3 | Bob | +0.56 | 47 | 45 |
| #4 | Roach | +0.42 | 56 | 42 |
| #5 | Nep | +0.15 | 58 | 44 |





